"She needs to sort out her priorities."
Ron Weasley, in the film Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, iconically makes the above statement when Hermione Granger ranks getting expelled as a more pressing concern than getting killed by an oversized, three-headed dog.
Personally, I have always felt that Hermione's priorities were fairly well sorted out, but it doesn't change the fact that, for both Ron and Hermione, as well as the rest of us, it is often our priorities that shape the way we see the world and invest our time...even if magical creatures and wizarding school aren't involved.
I recently came across a TED talk, shown below, given by author Laura Vanderkam, about gaining control of one's free time.
Vanderkam makes many good points in her talk, but the one that stands out is that the phrase "I don't have time" really translates to "It's not a priority."
Many people use the former phrase "I don't have time" to justify the decisions they make, saying,
"I don't have time to sleep seven to eight hours."
"I don't have time to read the book I bought at the store a month ago."
"I don't have time to spend an evening with friends."
Swapping the beginnings of these sentences with "It's not a priority..." makes the declarations feel more powerful and, perhaps, more upsetting. It is no longer the fault of the nebulous concept of time that one can't achieve these fulfilling goals, but rather an inability on the part of the individual to dedicate the necessary resources.
I would take Vanderkam's equation a step further and even suggest restructuring the sentences by adding in what one is spending time on instead.
For example, "It's not a priority to have a meal with friends" could become "It's more important that I spend the entire evening scrolling through social media feeds instead of meeting with friends." This statement is jarring because of its exposure of the missed opportunity. Additionally, it raises the following question: when the less enriching route is so much easier to accomplish, how does one choose the path with the greater pay-off?
Make the Life that You Build Intentional
If it is obvious from the aforementioned sentence that a mistake in time expenditure is made, why do we allow ourselves to make these unsatisfactory trade-offs? Oftentimes, it comes back to whether we are capable of mustering the strength to live intentionally and forsake being a victim of the circumstances to which we are subjected.
"Make the life that you build intentional."
This statement means that you shouldn't be a victim of circumstances, but rather create the life you actually want to live. Don't choose the path of least resistance simply because it is easiest.
If it takes more energy to open a new book you're curious about than to watch the same show for the hundredth time, invest the energy and see what realizations reading the novel brings you.
If you are afraid to make a new connection with someone who is wonderful company or to take a trip you have dreamt of for years, think of the statement from essayist Anais Nïn:
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
It's your life, and you're not dead yet. Have the courage to make the decisions in your life, instead of allowing life to make the decisions for you.